What a good Christmas season this has been! Full to the brim of celebrations, feasting, joy, family, friends! Last week I went to Wisconsin to visit a good friend of mine, Lanita, who I met on the Africa Mercy last fall. She was getting married last Saturday, so I decided to go and spend the week before her wedding with her. I can't begin to describe how very special I felt last week. I was treated like royalty by Lanita and Shelby. What hospitality! They showed me a wonderful time in Eau Claire, but the best part was the amount of time I got to spend with them just enjoying their company. Lanita was the most relaxed bride I've ever seen! She had everything done way in advance so she had that week before the wedding to just relax and enjoy visiting the people who were important to her. How cool is that?
It was incredibly special to have time with 4 other girls I'd met on the ship as well. We are all in a similar place in our lives - we are Registered Nurses, and mostly single women who are seeking to serve God with our lives. Kelly, Denice and Rachel came from all over the States to the wedding, and Katelyn came from Saudi Arabia! Wow! How special to see these girls that I thought I wouldn't see again for many years!
Christmas has been full of fun family time playing games, baking cookies, talking, and just enjoying one another. I am so blessed by my family. We also had a refugee family from the Democratic Republic of Congo over for Christmas Eve. There are 7 children. We had such a great time with them. We sang carols, ate delicious food, opened presents, and visited. Us "kids" played games, which ended up being very lively and noisy, and SO much fun! We all agree that it was the best Christmas Eve in a long time.
On Christmas Day we went out to Auntie Carolyn and Uncle Chris' acreage - had fun playing in the snow, and more games, more food, more fun! How blessed I am by these wonderfully loving and generous relatives! God is SO good to me!
I continue to devour Christian literature. I'm currently reading another book by Elisabeth Elliot. "The Path of Loneliness". She is an amazing author and such a godly lady. I encourage anyone to read any of her books. Every page, every thought is so worthwhile. So many insights. So many lessons learned through personal difficulty and suffering. A few of the lessons I have learned this past year are reflected in her book.
I like this bit:
"If His lordship is really established over me, it makes no difference (I might even say it's "no big deal") whether I live or die. I am expendable. That knowledge is freedom. I have no care for anything, for all that I am, all that I have, all that I do, and all that I suffer have been joyfully placed at His disposal. He can do anything He wants." (p. 86-87)
She says it so well. That was exactly the lesson I began to learn last fall in Africa when I was going through some strange health issues. It was then that I really truly realized that I am mortal, and I will die someday... maybe soon, maybe years from now, but I will definitely not live forever or be young forever. I realized that I am actually okay with that fact. It really doesn't cause me to worry. I know where I'm going, and I know it's a lot better than this present world, so, yeah, death isn't scary! That is very freeing! It makes it a lot easier to be abandoned to God.
Strangely I don't have trouble with the fact that I'll die someday, even if that happens to be sooner than later, but I do have trouble with the unknown. I like to know where I'm going. I like to feel like I'm in control. This is something I have to learn more and more - how to surrender my life to Christ even when I don't know where He's taking me. It's scary to let someone else take the steering wheel of your life! I like to have my own way.
Another excerpt:
Read 2 Tim. 1:8-10. "That is a wonderfully comforting word to me. God had included the hardships of my life in His original plan. Nothing takes Him by surprise. But nothing is for nothing, either. His plan is to make me holy, and hardship is indispensable for that as long as we live in this hard old world. All I have to do is accept it." (p.101)
"Acceptance is abandonment, the great risk of great lovers, when an awesome power is given over - the power to hurt." "Acceptance of discipleship is the utter abandonment of the disciple, the surrender of all rights, to the Master. This abandonment, in all cases, will mean pain. Christ listed some of the troubles His followers could expect, so that they would not be taken by surprise and thus discard their faith in Him. he did not offer immunity. He asked for trust." (p. 102)
So true! Lord Jesus, would you help me to be abandoned to You in every way? Would you help me to give that power over to You? It is so good to remember that You have all things in Your hands. I can trust You and know my life is in the best hands in the Universe!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Random Ponderings
Yesterday and Today I had the opportunity to sleep in... to sleep in until I was good and ready to wake up... I can't remember the last time I had that luxury. Actually I could have that luxury almost every day, but I choose to get involved in a lot of things that make me have to wake up early. It's good for me. I like having a good reason to get out of bed in the morning - a purpose to my day. It makes it even nicer to sleep in when it's a cherished and uncommon luxury!
In my book reading today I read about Job. The author, Philip Yancey, was discussing how Job is not really about the problem of pain, as much as it is about faith in its starkest form. God and Satan basically had a bet over whether or not Job would love God if good things were taken away from him and bad things happened to him. How would he react? "The Wager resolved decisively that the faith of a single human being counts for very much indeed. Job affirms that our response to testing matters." The most important battle is within us. The question is "will we trust God"? Our faith is most necessary at the exact moment when it is most difficult to have it. God's goal is to change us from the inside out.
I actually got a little excited as I read about the goal of trials and difficulties in our lives. We usually just want everything to be happy and joyful, but the tough things in life are what shape us. Our response to difficulties helps us to develop more faith in God, or to turn from Him in distrust and anger. He loves us and will not put us through more than we can bear. God, continue to shape me and help me to trust You more each day!
This week I had a patient who was Muslim. He was the nicest guy. He kept saying "God bless you", so I asked him about his faith. It is very important to him. He is involved in a lot of community service and mission work to the world - through organizations that provide hospitals, schools, etc. He quoted Ghandi about how the world would have enough food to feed everyone if there was no greed. He seemed to be someone who really loved others and had a genuine faith in his god. We talked about the wars fought over religion and how sad that was. He wants to see all religions be able to work together. It was a challenge to know what to say to him - how to stand firm in my beliefs that cannot allow for Islam to be also a right way to God - but how to love, affirm and accept him. We had a good conversation, and I wish it could have been a little longer. Sometimes it is hard for my heart - it hurts me a little to think that such a devout Muslim - who so obviously loves his family, his community, and his world - does not know the One true God. God, how can this be? Help me to know how to reach people with Your love, and to be able to explain adequately why You are the only way to Heaven!
Tonight at Youth Group I had a conversation with a young girl. She's a girl with some sort of learning disability - I'm not sure what's wrong exactly, but she's definitely a little different. She's either the life of the party and bubbling over with energy and excitement, or she's hunched over locked in her own world of insecurity, hurt and pain. Whatever mood she is in, she obviously wants all the attention on herself. Tonight as I came up to her, she was looking down at the floor or furtively over at a group of others her own age... she was frowning and her face was distorted into a scowl. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I'm jealous"... I've heard her say this before... she was jealous of a boy who had apparently stolen her best friends somehow. We talked a little about how jealousy is not what God wants, and how we can be content where we are at in life. I then tried to divert the conversation to something else - Christmas brought a little joy to her face!
This to me was a stark reminder of how distorting jealousy is... how it is absolutely not God's plan for us! He created us each uniquely, and He does not want us to compare ourselves to His other creations. He has a reason for us to be here in this place, at this time, and it's not necessarily the same reason as the others around us. I know I've struggled with being jealous or comparing myself at times, and it's nothing but destructive. Destructive to my relationship with the other person, destructive to my self-image, and destructive to my relationship with God. I'm basically telling Him that He should have created me more like someone else.
"Does a clay pot dare argue with its maker, a pot that is like all the others? Does the clay ask the potter what he is doing? Does the pot complain that its maker has no skill?" Isaiah 45:9
Father God, You ARE the potter, I am only the clay. Mold me and make me, this is what I truly ask and pray!
In my book reading today I read about Job. The author, Philip Yancey, was discussing how Job is not really about the problem of pain, as much as it is about faith in its starkest form. God and Satan basically had a bet over whether or not Job would love God if good things were taken away from him and bad things happened to him. How would he react? "The Wager resolved decisively that the faith of a single human being counts for very much indeed. Job affirms that our response to testing matters." The most important battle is within us. The question is "will we trust God"? Our faith is most necessary at the exact moment when it is most difficult to have it. God's goal is to change us from the inside out.
I actually got a little excited as I read about the goal of trials and difficulties in our lives. We usually just want everything to be happy and joyful, but the tough things in life are what shape us. Our response to difficulties helps us to develop more faith in God, or to turn from Him in distrust and anger. He loves us and will not put us through more than we can bear. God, continue to shape me and help me to trust You more each day!
This week I had a patient who was Muslim. He was the nicest guy. He kept saying "God bless you", so I asked him about his faith. It is very important to him. He is involved in a lot of community service and mission work to the world - through organizations that provide hospitals, schools, etc. He quoted Ghandi about how the world would have enough food to feed everyone if there was no greed. He seemed to be someone who really loved others and had a genuine faith in his god. We talked about the wars fought over religion and how sad that was. He wants to see all religions be able to work together. It was a challenge to know what to say to him - how to stand firm in my beliefs that cannot allow for Islam to be also a right way to God - but how to love, affirm and accept him. We had a good conversation, and I wish it could have been a little longer. Sometimes it is hard for my heart - it hurts me a little to think that such a devout Muslim - who so obviously loves his family, his community, and his world - does not know the One true God. God, how can this be? Help me to know how to reach people with Your love, and to be able to explain adequately why You are the only way to Heaven!
Tonight at Youth Group I had a conversation with a young girl. She's a girl with some sort of learning disability - I'm not sure what's wrong exactly, but she's definitely a little different. She's either the life of the party and bubbling over with energy and excitement, or she's hunched over locked in her own world of insecurity, hurt and pain. Whatever mood she is in, she obviously wants all the attention on herself. Tonight as I came up to her, she was looking down at the floor or furtively over at a group of others her own age... she was frowning and her face was distorted into a scowl. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I'm jealous"... I've heard her say this before... she was jealous of a boy who had apparently stolen her best friends somehow. We talked a little about how jealousy is not what God wants, and how we can be content where we are at in life. I then tried to divert the conversation to something else - Christmas brought a little joy to her face!
This to me was a stark reminder of how distorting jealousy is... how it is absolutely not God's plan for us! He created us each uniquely, and He does not want us to compare ourselves to His other creations. He has a reason for us to be here in this place, at this time, and it's not necessarily the same reason as the others around us. I know I've struggled with being jealous or comparing myself at times, and it's nothing but destructive. Destructive to my relationship with the other person, destructive to my self-image, and destructive to my relationship with God. I'm basically telling Him that He should have created me more like someone else.
"Does a clay pot dare argue with its maker, a pot that is like all the others? Does the clay ask the potter what he is doing? Does the pot complain that its maker has no skill?" Isaiah 45:9
Father God, You ARE the potter, I am only the clay. Mold me and make me, this is what I truly ask and pray!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lefse and waiting
Grandma Roste and I made lefse and Norwegian flatbread today. I would like to make it a yearly Christmas tradition to do that with my Grandma. We were both amazed at how smoothly the lefse-making went because we had all the necessary equipment, used a great recipe, and had no lumps in our potatoes. With a two-man team, patiently and faithfully working together through each step of the process, the lefse pieces turned out marvelously. Mmmm, delicious!
Grandma and I talked about the past a lot today. She explained how desperately poor they were growing up, and how hard they worked. When Grandma and Grandpa got married, they started to farm, and got hailed out two years in a row. They decided to move out to BC for better opportunities to work, etc. They were only able to visit their hometown and family every once in a while. Grandma only got to go to two of her 10 siblings weddings. I asked Grandma if she ever felt discontented, and she said "no, there was no point in being upset about it or wishing it was some other way, because that's just how it was." My Grandma is someone who exemplifies servanthood, self-sacrifice, love, generosity, humility, and contentment. One of the greatest compliments you can give me is that I remind you of my Grandma Roste.
Discontentment. This is something I have been convicted of today... something I have been mulling over and over in my mind. Sometimes I can feel disappointed with the ways things are, and become impatient for things to be set right.
The scripture comes to me: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Phil. 4:12. I wish I knew the secret too!
I have a hunch that I do know the antidote to some of these negative things that plague us: ingratitude - disciplined thankfulness; worry - seeking to trust God more and relying on His promises; etc.
Last night at Refresh at Calvary Lutheran, Pastor Karl talked about being content in waiting. Advent is a season of waiting. Sometimes waiting can feel really hard and we don't like it. I feel there are many things I am waiting/hoping for in this life and after, and it sometimes seems like they will never come soon enough. This waiting and hoping can easily turn into impatience and discontentment.
Kevin DeYoung, in his book "Just Do Something", says "we've assumed that we'll experience heaven on earth, and then we get disappointed when earth seems so unheavenly. We have little longing left for our reward in the next life because we've come to expect such rewarding experiences in this life... I'm pretty sure most of us would be more fulfilled if we didn't fixate on fulfillment quite so much". I think he's very right.
A question has been put to me again: "can I be content in waiting, even if some of the things I am waiting for may never come to pass?" Scripture says "in this world you will have trouble" (John 16:33), and I realize that life is not going to always be lollipops and candy canes. Think of Job! Can I be content when life is "as it should be" and when it isn't (in my view, anyway)?
The fuller context of that verse in John 16:33 reads this way: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
I want this peace and contentment in all things. I Tim 6:6: "Godliness with contentment is great gain." So, for the remainder of this advent season, I'm going to do an in-depth study of waiting. Waiting with contentment, patience, hope and expectation, thankfulness, joy and peace.
Just as our lefse pieces turned out marvelously, I pray that as I seek the Lord and ask Him to shape me, that I will more accurately reflect Jesus, which would be truly marvelous, and definitely worth waiting for.
Grandma and I talked about the past a lot today. She explained how desperately poor they were growing up, and how hard they worked. When Grandma and Grandpa got married, they started to farm, and got hailed out two years in a row. They decided to move out to BC for better opportunities to work, etc. They were only able to visit their hometown and family every once in a while. Grandma only got to go to two of her 10 siblings weddings. I asked Grandma if she ever felt discontented, and she said "no, there was no point in being upset about it or wishing it was some other way, because that's just how it was." My Grandma is someone who exemplifies servanthood, self-sacrifice, love, generosity, humility, and contentment. One of the greatest compliments you can give me is that I remind you of my Grandma Roste.
Discontentment. This is something I have been convicted of today... something I have been mulling over and over in my mind. Sometimes I can feel disappointed with the ways things are, and become impatient for things to be set right.
The scripture comes to me: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Phil. 4:12. I wish I knew the secret too!
I have a hunch that I do know the antidote to some of these negative things that plague us: ingratitude - disciplined thankfulness; worry - seeking to trust God more and relying on His promises; etc.
Last night at Refresh at Calvary Lutheran, Pastor Karl talked about being content in waiting. Advent is a season of waiting. Sometimes waiting can feel really hard and we don't like it. I feel there are many things I am waiting/hoping for in this life and after, and it sometimes seems like they will never come soon enough. This waiting and hoping can easily turn into impatience and discontentment.
Kevin DeYoung, in his book "Just Do Something", says "we've assumed that we'll experience heaven on earth, and then we get disappointed when earth seems so unheavenly. We have little longing left for our reward in the next life because we've come to expect such rewarding experiences in this life... I'm pretty sure most of us would be more fulfilled if we didn't fixate on fulfillment quite so much". I think he's very right.
A question has been put to me again: "can I be content in waiting, even if some of the things I am waiting for may never come to pass?" Scripture says "in this world you will have trouble" (John 16:33), and I realize that life is not going to always be lollipops and candy canes. Think of Job! Can I be content when life is "as it should be" and when it isn't (in my view, anyway)?
The fuller context of that verse in John 16:33 reads this way: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
I want this peace and contentment in all things. I Tim 6:6: "Godliness with contentment is great gain." So, for the remainder of this advent season, I'm going to do an in-depth study of waiting. Waiting with contentment, patience, hope and expectation, thankfulness, joy and peace.
Just as our lefse pieces turned out marvelously, I pray that as I seek the Lord and ask Him to shape me, that I will more accurately reflect Jesus, which would be truly marvelous, and definitely worth waiting for.
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