This morning I am wide awake with little to do, so blogging seems like the right choice. I got up early this morning (5:15) and read my Bible as I exercised which I try to do before work, then showered, dressed and heard my phone ring at 6:15... they cancelled my work shift. Oh well. I could be annoyed, but whatever. I always find it nice to have a day off when I wasn't expecting it or planning for it. It means that I have all this free time that I haven't already filled with things from my to do list.
2010 has been a good year so far. Last week it was great to see a lot of my dear friend Laura for various showers before her wedding. I had really missed her in the fall, since we were both quite busy with our separate lives. God has given me a great gift in her friendship, as He has in the friendships of many others. I am very blessed.
Laura's Grandma Cole died over the Christmas season, and I was able to go to the funeral. I was impacted by what was said about her life. Everyone used these two words to describe her: "sweet" and "joyful". I certainly noticed that about Grandma Cole, and I knew her only a very little. She apparently would share her faith with many people she met on the bus or wherever she was. One person said that it would take a stadium to hold all the people she has impacted in one way or another. Her funeral was a real celebration of her life, and it got me to thinking about what I want to be said of me when I die someday. I want to be a person who is joyful in all circumstances, a person who loves deeply and completely, someone who people want to be around. Most of all, I want to be someone who shares my love for God with the world around me. God, help me to not allow fear to stop me from living life the way you want me to. Help me to live a life of love and service in whatever capacity you have for me.
I made another wedding cake last week, which was a lot of fun. It turned out better than I'd hoped. I was so thankful for the help of my sister Breanna and some dear friends, Stacie and Paul. I got a lot of compliments on it, and quite a few people said I should start my own business. That is really not appealing to me at all. I know God has given me artistic giftings, but I love to use them to bless people who are special to me. That is a big way that I show my love for others - in giving gifts of service or gifts that tangibly express my love.
Laura and Darcy's wedding was beautiful. The ceremony was simple, and worshipful. Laura's brother-in-law Marcus spoke very well about marriage and the roles of husband and wife. Everything from the ceremony, to the cafe after the service, to the reception and dance, was a great celebration of love and marriage. Of course it can be hard sometimes as a single woman to attend weddings because it more acutely reminds you of the absence of love and marriage in your own life, but I know God is faithful, and has a plan for my life.
Today I read something on Crosswalk.com that I really agree with. It's titled "The Smaller You Get, The Freer You Will Be". It intrigued me. Sometimes I can feel very small and insignificant and alone... especially this past year. I like how the author says that "nothing makes you more aware of your smallness than pain and hardship". Life is not all about becoming a "better you" like the world would have us believe. G.K. Chesterton says it well: "how much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it."
I like this one too: "Our supreme need, our only need, is to know God, the living God, and the power of his might. We need nothing else." (Dr. D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones) Oh God, how I want and need to know more of you! You are my only hope, my anchor in the storms of life! I really do have a longing to know the Lord, more than I ever have before. Teach me Lord! Help me to know you so deeply and intimately!
Life certainly has its ups and downs, various seasons, a time for life and a time for death, periods of sweet love and desperate loneliness, and in the midst of all of this, how shall I live? I shall live my life to the fullest for my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, abandoned to His purposes above all else!
