Home

Home. What defines this for me? Where the heart is? Where is my heart at home? I am learning more and more that my only hope is in Christ. He is the only one that can truly satisfy me and in him alone can I find my true self that God has made me to be.
The last few days have been full of hugs and long talks and picture viewing and being outside in the crisp chill. I do love Canada. It is where I was born, where I have lived my life, where I have learned so much.
How wonderful it is to be with people who know and love me for who I am, and have known me for my entire life. Again, the question is put to my mind: am I willing to run headlong into the life God has called me to, no matter where that takes me? Am I willing to forsake all for the cause of Christ? The answer has to be yes, because my heart is too restless when it's not in the centre of God's will for me. I am not satisfied living a life that is "ordinary" if I am not where God wants me to be in that moment in time. Again and again the cry of my heart is that I am the aroma of Christ to those around me wherever that is.
I find that I finally have time to process what has been happening in my heart and life.
I am still quite jet lagged. Every day I've been getting really tired around suppertime. I drove to Provost on Wednesday evening to spend a few days with Kristy (my amazing cousin who is getting married in a month and I'm making her wedding cake and am a bridesmaid). It was probably not the best idea to drive in the evening by myself. I was SO exhausted. I had to keep calling people on my cell phone to keep myself awake. Thank goodness my cell phone minutes didn't run out until I was 5 minutes from Kristy's place. I made it okay and thoroughly enjoyed the huge HUG from Kristy. Life is changing with Kristy getting married, but it's so comforting to know that since we are family and so indescribably close to one another, we will always have a special bond that cannot be broken.
Today I will journey to Saskatoon for a Roste family Christmas gathering, full of my wonderful relatives and new additions to the family, undoubtedly some wonderful food, great talks, laughter, fun, pictures, and all that defines our blessed family.
On Saturday and Sunday, Mike has some concerts at the ML Alliance Church. I saw his music video - WOW is all I can say! He's really getting good. I'm a little biased, I'll admit, but I'm proud of my brother!
I bought a French-English New Testament, and I'm so excited to start reading the Bible in both languages everyday. I really want to become fluent this next year. I have a lot of practicing to do, but I'm ready.
Okay, enough rambling, but I'm going to keep this updated over my time in Canada as well. God still does some pretty cool things in Canada, that's for sure.

Kenya Adventures

We flew to Ghana and then Kenya, arriving at 530 am, Sunday. It was cooler in Kenya in the morning, but so nice. The entire day the temperatures were perfect. I soaked it all in, as I know I’m going home to the snow and cold. We paid US$20 each to get out of the airport into Nairobi for the day, and it was well worth it. As soon as we left the airport we could see the stark contrasts between Liberia and Kenya. The taxi had plush seats and… drumroll please… seatbelts! The roads were well maintained, well marked, and there were many skyscrapers in the distance. We drove by Nairobi National Park and saw some giraffes! Sweet. We got to Amy’s hotel in central Nairobi and all crashed for a couple hours – felt so good!
A friend of a friend of Amy’s came to take us on a walking tour of Nairobi around 10 am. His name is Peter and he’s a Sudanese student taking social work in Nairobi. He was a great tour guide! At the end of the day my legs were swollen and sore and my feet blistered, but we saw a lot! We went to a craft market where the vendors gave us hardly any breathing space and were so pushy that all I wanted was to escape asap. Their pushiness totally turned me off from buying their beautiful wares.
We sauntered through parks where there were flowers, fountains, music, picnics, faces being painted, paddle boats in a lake and people seeming quite content. We saw parliament, the downtown core, and some “real” hustling-bustling Nairobi.
One of the funniest parts of the day was when we had to pay for public toilets where you squatted over a hole in the ground! ☺
Another funny moment was when we had just finished a big breakfast in a restaurant – with the world’s best pineapple – only to hop in a car headed for Peter’s place to have a Sudanese lunch an hour later! This was due to a bit of miscommunication between Peter and ourselves regarding the plan for the day. We still ate the amazing Sudanese food, and just didn’t need to eat for many hours later. We met his family and saw where he lived. His sisters didn’t speak the best English, but were so kind, gracious and welcomed us into their home. I was surprised at how nice their apartment was – they had cable tv and we watched Sister Act together.
At the end of the day we again collapsed in the hotel – all three of us very sleep deprived for the past 3 days. I can’t tell you how nice it was to have a bath to wash away the sweat and dust and soak out the travel aches before my next 9 hour flight to London.
We parted ways with Amy – left her to her cozy hotel before her safari the next morning. And then there were two. By chance at the airport we met a friend from the ship, Luke, who’d left two weeks ago for other destinations, and he happened to be on our flight to London with us. And then there were three again!
Now I’m in London, alone, as we’ve all parted ways, contemplating how much more I like to travel with people than by myself. I’m killing time.
London impressions: crisp and cool, Christmas lights and decorations all over, extremely expensive shops, lots of people headed here, there and everywhere. It feels like a bit of culture shock and it’s not even been 3 months. I can’t wait to see my family at the airport in about 12 hours!
What a trip: three 9 hour flights, two layovers (18 + 6 hours), little sleep (probably total 12 hours fitful sleep over the past 4 days). I cannot wait for a soft bed and a LONG sleep.

Leaving Liberia

The trip home has been full of adventure. Leaving Lanita and Katelyn and many other wonderful friends on the ship was surreal and sad, but I loved the warm embraces all around, and the hopes of seeing people again, if not in this lifetime, certainly in heaven someday! I love that! I was super tired because I only got 1 hour of sleep Friday night due to last minute packing and note writing, etc.
Friends lined the dock to say farewell to us and the girls formed a human barrier pretending not to let the vehicle pass. I felt so valued by these girls. Lanita and Katelyn were so sweet and spent the whole of Saturday morning with me while I packed. They kept joking that my passport had been stolen or lost, so I couldn’t leave the ship! I said goodbye to as many people as I could, but it’s overwhelming – too many goodbyes. I had to see Jacob, my blood buddy, and his mom Esther one last time. I hope all will be well with him, as he still has wounds to heal and the ship is only in Liberia for another couple weeks. Pray for him!
Red, one of the ward supervisors, drove us to the airport. She’s entertaining. It took us a much longer time than normal to get to the airport. We ran into 4 or 5 UN processions, where traffic in both directions stops and pulls to the side of the road while the UN flies by down the middle. It’s like parting the Red Sea. There were a couple construction zones (which is really good to see in Liberia), and we saw a big truck full of gas almost tip over sideways going up a steep embarkment. We breathed sighs of relief for the next few minutes, shocked at the explosion that could’ve occurred. As we drove away, I took my last looks at Liberia – the stalls with wares for sale, the shacks everywhere, the women carrying bundles on their heads, the funny signs, the vehicles that were unfit for driving, but were still being driven… the beautiful people. I’ll miss it.
Thus we started our long journey – 3 girls: Jane, Amy and I.

I'm coming home...

Wow, I can't believe it's already here, my day of departure. It's been such a wonderful time and I leave with mixed emotions. I spent my last day of work cleaning the wards, and it was satisfying to get down and really scrub away all the filth that you didn't realize was there. It looks and smells so much cleaner.
Friday I ran around trying to get my departure paperwork done in the morning, and then I went to see the opening dedication ceremony of the Tenegar Clinic. This is a project that has been underway for this past year, and is now completed and ready to be used. The president, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf was there to cut the red tape and give a speech, etc. It was pretty neat to view a Liberian ceremony. They gave all the men who had worked on the project this year a new African suit. It was special also because the community is Muslim, and Mercy Ships (definitely a Christian organization) built the clinic. It is such a good witness that we don't show partiality based on religion, race, etc. The community was very grateful, because since 1989 there has been no readily accessible clinic. They have had to walk many miles with their sick in a wheelbarrow to get help. Can you imagine that?
We had to wait for a really long time for the President to come, so I entertained some kids with my markers and pad of paper. We coloured a picture together - myself and I don't even know how many dozen children who crowded around me more than I've ever been crowded before in my life. It was fun, but a little chaotic with all the kids elbowing each other to be the next one to colour on the picture.
The clinic is beautiful, and since it will be government run, hopefully this is sustainable development. There should be healthcare staff and medications available to the public. It was a super hot day, and I was totally drenched in sweat (you almost always are here whenever you go outside). I think I got a little dehydrated because I had a killer headache when I got home to the ship. Out there in the sun I kept thinking, "I'd better enjoy this, because in a few days it will all be like a dream." I'm excited for a little snow and cold though. Mostly I'm excited to see loved ones, and share my experiences!
Friday evening some of my very close friends and I watched "The Sound of Music" on the big screen in the International Lounge and sung along heartily at all the wonderful parts. It was SO much fun! Afterwards we hung out on the dock and raced the little scooters around from end to end. What a fabulous last night with such awesome friends. I forgot to mention the popcorn balls and cheesecake they made to go along with the night! I am REALLY going to miss them. :(

Time is winding down...

Three more sleeps until I board my plane for cold Canada. It's so bittersweet. I can't wait to see family and friends at home and all the festivities and activity that awaits me, but I am loathe to leave my dear new friends and this war ravaged, but God fearing country of Liberia. Time has truly flown by in an instant.
I've had a fabulous week again so far. I slept like a log after my crazy night shift on Sunday night. The kid I wrote about is still alive and well, by the way, but certainly needs our prayers a lot. His name is Kolywon, and he had the encephalocele repair. He faces a difficult life ahead of him, because he'll never look totally normal. I think he'll always have eyes that bulge out of his head and distorted facial features, but he's beautiful in a different way. He is curious and interested in everything that is going on around him. He's got a special spot in my heart.
Monday night, my very dear friends and I went out for a chocolate fondue to a really nice restaurant. It was fun because Lanita and Katelyn had planned this time, and didn't want me to know where we were going, so it was all a surprise until we got there. We stepped into the doors of the "Living Room" restaurant, and it was like going through a portal into the western world and leaving war ravaged Liberia far behind us. It was beautiful - modern booths and tables, low lighting, tasteful decorating, and a section with couches, in which we opted to sit and enjoy a fabulous chocolate fondue - it was Katelyn's first ever! We had such a nice time talking, praying and planning to see each other again someday - maybe at each other's weddings?
I'm working on crossing stuff off my to-do list before I leave, and I'm doing a pretty good job I think. I'm sure there will be "plenty-plenty" to do on Friday and Saturday, but it'll all get done! By the way, some of my favourite Liberian phrases are "plenty-plenty", "small-small", and "God-o". Sometimes the things they say are "funny-funny". Like on Monday - our taxi driver was complaining to us that our English was so hard to understand! Little does he know, but broken Liberian English would be hard to understand for most of the English speaking world.
I worked my last shift on the ward today, because tomorrow I'm doing a cleaning shift. It's okay with me because after this evening's shift I was really tired. I had only 3 patients, which is "no big deal" usually. However, one of them was a dehydrated 2 year old boy who is recovering from bladder exstrophy, and urinary diversion surgery. Bladder exstrophy is a condition where the bladder is basically on the outside of your body instead of the inside where it should be. Look it up online for pictures - it's pretty interesting. It's quite rare. Anyway, this little guy has been refusing to drink or eat for days. We can't get an IV on him. The only option is an NG tube and tube feedings. However, he's been vomitting and not tolerating his feeds. So it's a game of catch up, and trying to get anything possible into him.
I had two post-operative patients, which takes quite a lot of time because of the frequent checks. My little four year old developed a high fever, and didn't really wake up, drink, or pee well, so I had to restart his IV infusion. Anyway, I felt like I was running the whole shift, but it was good. I love my work, I love my coworkers, I love my patients, and most of all, I love my God who gives me everything I need for every moment of life. All glory be to Him!

2 Corinthians 12: 9 and 10

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

That was never truer for me than last night. I didn't sleep well yesterday after my night shift Saturday night, and although I tried to nap, it just wasn't happening. So half an hour before shift I felt horrible, and had no idea how I would make it through the 12 hour night shift that loomed before me. I went out onto the dock thinking some fresh air might help a bit. My roommate Erika was out there and we talked a bit. I shared how I was feeling about the upcoming shift and about my tiredness, etc. We prayed and I asked God for His strength for the night.
I certainly needed those prayers. I had two patients on tube feedings, and a couple preoperative patients. It was a fine evening although steady and busy, The night was going well, until about 2:30 am, when one of my little patients started having a really bad headache. I was a little worried about that because he'd had no pain for days, and to wake up crying with a headache is not usual. I checked his vital signs. His heart rate was quite low for a kid. I kept monitoring him just in case and it dropped even lower. He was breathing really quickly too. I called the doctor and he came and did an ECG, which was normal. The plan was to continue to monitor him and treat him if something came up. About 15 minutes after the doctor left, my little friend started to stop breathing for about 20 seconds and then take 5 or 6 short shallow breaths and stop breathing again. That’s when I knew I had to get Dr. Gary to come and see him.
This little guy had an encephalocele repair a few weeks ago. An encephalocele is a neural tube defect, where part of your brain protrudes through your forehead. It’s quite a complicated surgery to do, with a lot of risks, but without surgery the likelihood of death at a young age is quite high.
Anyway, Dr. Gary drained some CSF off his brain and he began to stabilize. It took about 3 hours from the time he first had the headache until I felt he was stable enough for me to leave his bedside with a continuous monitor on him to alert me of any problems. Please pray for this little guy. He still has a long way to go, and we only have a short time to get him stable before the ship leaves!
At 5:45 am I still had two tube feeds to do and a couple preoperative patients to get ready for surgery before 7 am. I didn’t finish until 8 am, but I finished well! My patients were all alive and well. God certainly taught me again that his power is sufficient for me! I truly couldn’t have made it through last night on my own strength. It was all God!

Liberian Thanksgiving, the beach, Holly, Jesus film

Again, it’s been a while since I’ve written. It’s been busy working on the ward lately because we have a lot of sick kids coming in for esophageal dilataion and abdominal surgeries. So, what happens is children drink caustic liquids and it causes their esophagus to constrict until it’s small and the kids can barely swallow anything. These children are SICK. Thank God for so many amazing pediatric nurses who support the rest of us as we learn how to care for these children.
Last Thursday evening we had a really awesome service. It was Liberian Thanksgiving Day, so the International Lounge was all set up with vegetables and produce of all sorts, reminding us what we have to be thankful for. The school kids dressed up as produce and had a little show for us. The coolest part of the evening was when we had a worship time, and had one person from every country represented on the ship come forward and say a prayer of thanks to God in their own language. It was beautiful. My good friend Holly stood up and said thanks to God for helping her believe in him over her time here. She did not come here as a Christian, but is leaving with a heart that is so excited about God. So amazing!
On Sunday we went to Marshall Town beach. It was a relaxing day in the HOT sun. Some local fishermen made us a shelter with one of their sails since there was no shelter at all. I definitely still got burnt.
I went to show the Jesus Film on Wednesday this week. We went out to a village on the outskirts of Monrovia, set up a screen on the back of the landrover and showed the film. It was in Mandigo because that is the language that this village spoke. It was so good to watch it again, even though I didn’t understand most of it. I tried to guess what Jesus was saying and interpret it for a few friends who had never seen it before. It was amazing to see how many people gathered as the night wore on. I bet there were 300-400 people in front of that screen. One lady in the front row was so obviously touched by God. It was so great to see her reactions. It truly is a powerful film, because it’s not just a story!!!
Holly left for home yesterday. We had a going away party for her Thursday night. It was funny because Amy was sitting in the middle of our big circle of women who had gathered for this time, and she had an empty bottle. We were joking about playing spin the bottle, and then decided it would be fun to spin the bottle and whoever it landed on could share a scripture for Holly that was special to them. It was so fun to be encouraged by some amazing scriptures. At the end Holly chose 2 scriptures that she’d recently found were encouraging. After she said them, a couple more girls joined our group, and they ended up sharing scriptures also. What are the chances that the scriptures they shared were the exact ones that Holly had just shared? God is pretty amazing. I also realized that one of the scriptures that was shared was one I had previously chosen to share with her in a card I was writing to her. It’s a good one: Psalm 37:3-7. Read and enjoy!
Friday morning Lanita, Katelyn, Denice and I made Holly a special going away breakfast. It was such a good time with her. I’m really going to miss her. She’s so excited about her newfound faith. It’s really encouraging to see!

God's Childrens Home Part 3

I worked this past weekend, and it was really busy. I had lots of pediatric patients, including a 1 month old baby. They were fairly sick. Sunday was one of those days where nothing could be easy or go smoothly. I was exhausted by the end of my 12 hour shift, but all my patients were alive and on the mend. Praise God!
This afternoon was a special time with the nine girls at God's Childrens Home. We got a donation specifically for these girls, and decided to use it to bless them by taking them to the market to buy material and then to the tailor to have a dress made for each of them. We also gave them each some money that they were allowed to use however they wanted at the market. This is probably the first time any of these teenaged girls have gone on a shopping spree! It was a really fun time with them.
We talked about Matthew 6:25-33 with them, which talks about not worrying, but trusting in the Lord's provision. I hope they see the monetary gift that they got as a gift from God directly to them. God really does take care of our needs, no matter how big or small. I'm really excited to see the girls in their dresses when they are finished! The tailor was a bit overwhelmed with all of our orders, but I'm sure he will do a great job and will be kept really busy for the next week.